tron411: Woodstock… a veritable Van Gogh

 Here’s another post from a true legend of Usenet, tron411. This was originally posted on December 3, 1997. As JDG would say, trip the fuck out.

Date: 1997/12/03

Subject: Woodstock… a veritable van gogh..

ohmygod!!  its 4am… i havent slept for nine days… my life has been pretty
much snort coke.. take acid.. snort coke.. eat.. take acid.. snort coke.. so
its all good.. my head is in just the right place.. but my lifestyle isnt the
matter of this message.. i was flipping through channels and after a brief stop
at the spice channel (which by the way doesnt show the spice girls) i landed on
espn3.. and i witnessed the most amazing skateboard trickery ive seen in the
past 47 years.. it was simon woodstock in full liberace regalia.. silver
sequined suit complete with vest, crown, and 11 inch platform shoes.. and he
was at a replica of the acclaimed DC superamp.. and get this true believer! he
was on an old school 10 foot surf board with some tech wheels hooked up to a
rotating gyroscope truck that spins around and locks on to the coping and does
this little fireworks show.. what an innovator! so anyways.. he drops in on the
extension and is going mach 12 or some shit and pops off the other side and
goes off the screen in a japan air.. (39 ft high)  so he torques his feet
around real quick and 360 flips and his shoes fly off and hit rich metiver
square in the noggin.. so he catches it and begins his 30 foot drop to reality
ville.. the announcer is thinking hes gonna eat it.. but he lands on the lip in
a NOSEPICK!!! no hands!! amazing shit!  then he hits the remote on his tail and
the trucks start spinning and spitting flames and he pops out of the nosepick
fakie! he zooms down the transition and to the other side and flies into the
arms of this dope ass model.. they speed off in lexus and the rest is skate
history..  wow.. i had to tell someone about it.. damn.  simon woodstock got
skill yo.

tron411.

ps.. woodstock wheel designs are back! profit margin or no profit margin.

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One Response to “tron411: Woodstock… a veritable Van Gogh”

  1. “Lil’ Stevie Suicide Attempt” is classic, outstanding work. I just reread it through the magic of usenet:
    he was rushed to the hospital on a friends lowrider
    bike.. doctors struggled to revive him and pumped his stomach eleven times.. he was finally awakened when his pager went off and he awoke to check it.

    I always thought, in this post, he was bummed because he couldn’t land swheel fakie hardflip out…which would be a trip because that was his ender in Choc Tour. That was just my mind playing tricks on me, though.

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